Psychologist are some times not very nice. They are mainly not nice to poor lab rats, making them navigate mazes, starving or feeding them, and generally putting them through a lot of misery that, importantly, does not include being chased by my neighbor's tabby cat or ending their in nature normally much shorter lifespans in the talons of a red shouldered hawk.
One of the many interesting experiments involving lab rats was a setup where the floor in the cage was giving the rats electric shock. The shocks were administered under two different conditions. In one, the rats could stop the floor from buzzing by pressing a lever and in the other, it was totally random if pressing a lever worked or not at stopping the misery.
The researchers found that if the rats had the possibility to influence their condition, they would stay active and engaged. In the random condition, however, the rats soon stopped even trying to get away from the shocks and were just whimpering at the bottom of the cage. This condition has been named learned helplessness.
Experiencing culture shock can lead to a similar situation. If reactions to what at home would be understood as pro-social behavior is not met with the anticipated reception, it can eventually lead to paralysis. Because social exclusion is by our neurons registered in exactly the same areas as physical pain - like the rats' electric shock. Who in their right mind volunteers to receive perpetual social condemnation?
One phase of culture shock can thus show up as not feeling comfortable with taking any initiatives. We engage in most activities in the anticipation of a given outcome. If we are too uncertain about the outcome, we may not engage and if we too often have had unhappy outcomes, we may start to doubt our own efficacy at ever reaching our goals.
Like in the previous blog posts, the conflict of showing initiative and feeling guilty if our actions - or inactions - lead to other people having problems or feeling hurt or offended, is a conflict we have known since early childhood. The drawing for mom that unfortunately let to spilled paint out over the table. The breakfast we hoped to surprise her with for Mother's Day that left the kitchen a total mess and we could see that she was not happy. Proudly shooting the ball out of the field - and through the neighbor's window...
Trying to do something where the feeling of efficacy - trusting that we can complete the task to our and others' satisfaction - is missing is very hard. And the more competent we normally have felt before, the harder is it to accept that in this new situation we frequently perform poorly.
If you have a professional task oriented function, performing well is not that much related to social interactions, and doing your tasks well will keep your self confidence intact. If you have to interact a lot with locals, make sure that you receive training in local do's and don'ts. Being in a managerial position without this training can land both you and the company in hot water if standards differ much from what you would normally do. Ultimately, you may just not be efficient in your job because you are not respected or don't have credibility. Problems in this area is one of the main reasons company transfers return before their contract expires. Countless agencies are eager to help you not become part of that statistic.
If you are not employed, one way to overcome this is to engage in activities where the other parties are so happy to get a helping hand, that they will gladly provide instructions or accept your way or doing things. Because the alternative is that they have to do it themselves or the thing not being done.
Help can also come from other expats who have walked more recently in your shoes. Even if they come from another country and don't have the exact same difficulties as you may run into, they know the way things are done here and there is no loss of face with this group at admitting to your confusion. Actually you may be doing them a favor by asking for help. Because in helping you they, too, can be open about what they found difficult in the beginning and it is much better to commiserate with friends than to self medicate in solitude.
Finally, the normal advice: Get your sleep, eat healthy food, exercise. Your brain needs to build up a lot of new connections when you learn new stuff and to do that it needs oxygen and nutrients. Processing the new things you have experienced during the day takes place during REM sleep, but as this happens only during part of your sleep cycle, even adding half an hour of sleep can have an amazing effect.